HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY
TWO YEAR OLD BABY BOY!
TODAY IS YOUR "SPECIAL" DAY!
I hope you have a wonderful birthday Tyler and know how much you are loved! (I will post lots of pictures at the end of the week.)
For post #4 I would like to quote a portion of a mothers view from her book that I fully aggree with and couldn't say better myself. Please take the time to read. The book is called, "The Year My Son and I Were Born. A Story of Down Syndrome, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery."
Soper, (the mother and author), tells her mother a story when her mother replies, “Special babies really do come to special mothers.” Soper clenched her shoulders at the phrase. “No, she said to her Mom. “I don’t think so.”
Mom was quiet. My heart pounded. I didn’t mean to get persnickety, but it just wasn’t true. I wasn’t special. I’d bet none of the other Down syndrome parents considered themselves to be special either...I had to explain...”When you read the book you’ll understand what I mean. None of these moms started out any different from anyone else. They’re wonderful people, but I don’t think that’s why they have kids with Down syndrome. I think it’s the opposite. I think having a kid with Down syndrome helps them become wonderful.”
The words just came out...Having a child with Down syndrome didn’t automatically grant those women compassion and goodwill. Whether the diagnosis came prenatally or postpartum, each of them had to decide whether to welcome her baby into the family. Each of them had to decide whether to open her heart to change, to difference, to hidden beauty and unsung worth. And each of them, consciously or not, had said yes.
Yes, we will love him. We will love her...
Everyone who walks the earth faces the same choice: to love, or not. And everyone who chooses love receives the same reward, although it comes in different packages. Mine happened to be the slightly cross-eyed little boy sitting in the center of our family portrait, which hung in the center of the hearth, which stood in the center of our home - right where we wanted him to be."
Dave and I know that our baby Tyler is special, however over the last two years all the "churchy" comments we hear again and again about Tyler being "special" or us being "special parents" is truthfully quite annoying. When someone says, "Tyler is a special spirit" I want to reply, "Just like your baby is a special spirit." Is there a baby or child that is not special? Is one child more special than another child? I do not believe so. Tyler is special in his own way, but isn't every child special in their own way? Just like the mom in this story, I also want to cringe when I hear that word sometimes. I feel like it is implying that a baby with Down syndrome is more special than a normal baby. I don't buy it. I believe that every child of God is unique and special. With all that said, I believe that Tyler is unique and special in his own way and there is no doubt in my mind that Dave and I will forever cherish the opportunity to be his parents.
4 comments:
that is so beautiful and amazing. I love and miss you all.
Kristine, when are you coming to Salt Lake? We need to have Tyler and Charlie play!
If it's not too personal to share, I would really appreciate a post sometime about a good way of being supportive to people you meet with a Down's Syndrome baby. Looking back to when you called me and told me that Tyler had Down's Syndrome, I mostly just remember not knowing at all what to say. I didn't want to be negative, but I didn't want to treat it lightly either. I think a lot of people (myself included) are simply speechless and end up saying something that sounds silly/grating. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated so we don't make the same mistake in the future.
good points all around. I like the quotes from that book, your thoughts, and your friend Natalie's idea.
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