Done with 1st grade!

Yesterday was Josh's last day of first grade. It has been a fabulous year! I have grown very attached to his teacher and classmates. I am very proud of Josh for all that he has accomplished this year. Tonight we had a cook out with all his class, most parents, and his teacher at Eagle Creek Park. I have realized that I am much better at planning fun activities for Maddie and her girlfriends, and I decided I needed to step it up and have a big party just for Josh. The kids had a great time and we feel blessed to know such wonderful Christian families from Josh's school. Tonight we started by all going on a little hike to a tree house that overlooks the lake. Maddie and I buried some treasures yesterday under the tree house that the boys had to dig up. Then, we went to our camp site where Dave started a big fire. We had hot dogs, smores, and tons of yummy sides. The boys had a blast playing football and baseball while Maddie jumped right in with the older girls running around being hyper. Even Tyler was in one of his "Go, go, go Tyler modes." Basically he runs from place to place, laughing the whole time, trying to keep up with all the action. It was a beautiful night in Eagle Creek Park.
Two of the boys came over for a sleep over and after a long game of basket ball, they are now watching a movie in the living room. Josh's school has been one of our very favorite things about living here. We can't wait for Maddie to join him next year. One of the things I have loved this year has been volunteering every other Friday for Mrs. Huskin's from 1:00-3:00 p.m. Finding some place for Maddie and Tyler to go has not always been easy, but being more involved in Josh's class this year has been awesome. I love getting to know the kids, watching the remarkable way in which Mrs. Huskin's handles them, and watching them all excited to learn about so many new things. I am just grateful Josh has had such a wonderful year.
It is so important to Dave and I that our children thrive in school. We want them to have caring teachers, good influences, and a love for learning. Josh has worked really hard this year and has grown so much. I thought it would be fun to write out the list of his very last spelling words. Being the horrible speller that I am, I have been amazed by the words Josh has learned this year. We typically spend 15 minutes on them every day. He is given 10 regular words, 5 bonus words, an 5 challenge words each week.
May 16-20
about
ground
found
out
crowd
growl
coin
noise
point
enjoy

Bonus:
loyal
choice
spoil
south
mountain

Challenge:
voyage
thousand
surround
disappoint
anyhow

Bring on the summer!

Grandma Ann is turning 85!

This Sunday I am missing my grandma's 85th birthday party. (sniff, sniff) Oh, how I would love to be with all my cousins and aunts and uncles in my grandma's big, beautiful backyard. My awesome cousin Elizabeth has put together a book for grandma. Below are the words I wrote. I have always loved my grandma. We became close during the years I was attending the University of Utah. Her house was one of my favorite places to practice singing and piano. I lived within walking distance to her house in the Avenues. Then, for 4 months Dave, Josh, Maddie and I lived with her while we were transitioning between Grenada and Michigan. She is a remarkable person and a loving grandmother. Happy Birthday Grandma!

Dear Grandma Ann,
It is quite a daunting task to write a tribute to you grandma. Where do I start? How do I compile all the thoughts and memories in my head? There are so many things I would love to touch on. For example, your love and appreciation for classical music, your cooking would be too obvious, your beautiful gardens in front and back, your example of hard work and never ending service, the individual love you show to each of your children, grand children, and great grandchildren, and this is just the very beginning. Well grandma, I am not going to talk about any of those things.
There is one thing that I love about you more than anything else. I truly cherish you for this, especially now that I am in the midst of raising my own family. Grandma, you have given me something greater than anything money can buy; something that the majority of children in the world dream of having more than anything else. Grandma, you gave me the greatest father I could ever ask for.
There are even some things you may not know about your oldest son. Everyone talks about the wild, adventurous, and fun person my dad was, but I think he would want to be remembered for the spiritual impressions he left as well.
Do you know that through my elementary school years (the years when my mom was really sick), I remember him being awake and chipper to start each new day. He would have a healthy breakfast waiting for us three kids as he packed our lunches and helped us remember all our books and homework. Now that I have three kids to have ready for school by 8:15, I know how stressful this can be at times. But the most amazing part is that through all of the chaos, he had the goal for us to read the Book of Mormon every morning as we all sat together in the kitchen. He was reading scriptures as he flipped pancakes. As strange as I thought this was, I really enjoyed it.
Then, at night, my dad never seemed too busy or too tired to read to us. Our favorite stories that he invented were called “Bowser and Tinker stories,” about a dog and a cat. But before he would tell us a story, we read the stories of the Old and New Testament. I love those stories and I love that he made that constant effort to show us what was most important at the beginning and close of the day.
My dad always wanted to be “in” on what was going on in my life. From early on, through my teenage years, he would come into my room and say, “What is on your mind Kristine?” I knew I couldn’t brush him aside, because he wasn’t going to leave until I let him know everything that was happening with my friends and school. I felt comfortable to talk to him about anything and found myself asking all kinds of questions. These late night conversations became much more than just casual talks. Over and over my dad would stress the important things in life and bear testimony of his core beliefs. I think back to those conversations and know they had a powerful effect.
My dad taught me through his example what was important to him. Being on time to church, even when it was just him, he somehow managed to keep the three of us quiet on the bench. He made us participate every time the home teachers came over. We have many wonderful memories of laughing together and spending special time as a family on Monday nights. He spoke about his mission often and also expressed his love for the temple. I know that my dad loved and had a true testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I mention this to you because I owe so much of the credit to you and Dick for your faith, hard work, and belief in raising a family unto God.
If you are ever having a bad day, just think of the son you raised! (Not to mention your 8 other children!) I believe your son did all that he could to be the greatest father for the short years he had with us. When my dad talked about you and grandpa, he did so with deep respect and admiration. He was great because you and grandpa are great. I think about our ancestors and their “greatness” more than you possibly know. Thank you for raising my father to be the man that he was. The rest of my life will continue to be shaped by those 18 years with him.
And now, being pregnant with my 4th child, I have to defend myself in a world that looks upon a big family as a crazy and irresponsible choice to make. I have people asking me why I would possibly want this many kids and I proudly tell them all about you. I tell them that I look up to my grandma who raised a family twice as big as mine, more than perhaps anyone else. Grandma, you are an amazing blessing in my life. You are a blessing in my mother’s life. You are a blessing to David’s life, my children’s life, and a source of strength to your entire posterity.
We all love you so much. Love, Kristine Nebeker Orme

Chicago Rocks!

Last months, these lovely ladies came for a visit! You may not recognize them in their cool shades. Here we have my sister-in-law Cortney, my sis Kate, and my mom. We took a girls trip to Chicago for 3 days with the 4 of us plus our favorite girl Maddie. The whole weekend was FABULOUS! Thanks so much mom for making it all happen. We took the Red Line to get to Lincoln Park. The subway is always a fun adventure on vacations.
Maddie never complained or whined once on the whole trip. She was such a trooper going shopping for hours and walking all over the city.

Maddie sure loves Cort. She also couldn't get enough of the Rapunzel barbie that my mom bought her in the Disney Store.

Maddie and I stood in front of this dude for at least 20 minutes.

Big cities are so much fun!

Strike a pose cute girl!

We went on an awesome architecture boat tour of the city.

Dora came on that tour too.

Here is the 5 of us! I just wish the time didn't go so fast.

This was the first time Cortney had been to our house. We are glad that Dan let her come with us. This was the morning we watched Tyler get on the big bus to go to school. We also had a great game of basket ball with Josh in front of our house.

There were so many highlights of the trip: Blue Man Group, Michigan Ave shopping, Eating out, getting lost, watching all the street musicians and dancers, Giradelli banana splits, & amazingly perfect weather. My favorite time was spent together in our hotel room eating all the yummy things we found at Trader Joe's on the bed while watching clips of cheesy movies after a LONG day of shopping. I just loved being with you guys and can't wait until we do it again. Thanks again mom for being so much fun and always the best sport on trips!!!

Happy Easter!

It was a wonderful Easter weekend! Easter egg hunt & candy....
We are not too old for the Easter Bunny yet.

Matching outfits for the boys and a special Easter dress that Dave picked out for his princess.

Holidays are so much fun with little kids!

Spring is here!

This picture is Tyler giving me a mischievous grin right before he bolts off the path down the grassy hill. He is saying, "I bet you can't catch me!"

SURPRISE! I had my oldest friend come visit me over the weekend.

I LOVE YOU GRACE!

This tree has been so great for our kids to climb. (All the neighbors too.)

It didn't take Tyler long to warm up to Grace.

Two little flower heads in the garden.

Grace has absolutely no idea how much it meant to me to have her come visit!!!

You know I have always loved you like a sister, and now my sister Kate is actually becoming room mates with Grace in Salt Lake! Just remember who was friends with you first ok?!

Love ya!!!

I do want to give a quick recap of a few of the things we did.

* Roller blading the downtown canal. It is pretty fun to hear what people say about you when you cruise by. "Wow, mommy, they are wearing roller skates!! Cool!" It is as if most people have never seen them before.

*Shopping downtown and dinner at "Rock Bottom."

*Staying up late watching "High School Musical" as we fill and hide all the Easter eggs. Bring on the old high school memories!

*Easter Sunday crepe breakfast. Church. Grace was my special helper for the Primary and Nursery Music. Dave planned the whole Easter dinner. Family bike ride/walk around our neighborhood.

*On Monday, Grace got to see what a normal "school day" is for me. Getting all the kids off to school, errands, shopping, & a quick work out at the Y. My favorite part of the day is when I finally crashed on the couch and an hour later when I woke up, Grace was upstairs playing with Tyler and letting Maddie brush her hair. Grace did the cutest french braids in Maddie's hair. Maddie thought she had just made a new best friend.

*We all ate dinner with Dave at Panera and Grace and I went to a movie. We saw "Water for Elephants". I won't explain the drama that happened while we were watching the movie, but I am pretty sure Grace won't forget it.

* The best part about having Grace come was the talking and talking and talking. We have so much to catch up on and I wish there was a way to stop the clock and soak up these wonderful moments to the fullest. I loved seeing so many pictures of what she has been up to. I am in awe of everything she has done and seen and the people she has met along the way. Grace, I owe you big time for taking the time and money to come visit us here in Indiana! You're the best! By the way, Dave and my kids love you too!!!

Do you like parades?

The St. Patrick's Day parade in Indiana is only the 3rd parade I have ever seen! My friend Jessica was shocked. I guess parades were not a big thing in my family growing up. I doubt my mom has ever been to a parade. My mother-in-law on the other hand, is probably the biggest parade fan of anyone I know. She took me to my first parade a few years ago in Salt Lake. "The Day's of '47 Parade" on the 24th of July. My 2nd parade was in Akron, Ohio, the day after Thanksgiving. I think I am becoming a fan........

I wonder what Tyler has to say about it?
So, what is not to like? We had perfect weather, we sat on a big grassy hill and watched our little boys run up and down for the entire time, fun music, awesome outfits, great energy of a big city, food, drinks, and dancing all over, candy being thrown, green green everywhere, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood smiling, laughing, cheering, & clapping. But I think my favorite part of a parade is people watching. Watching the people watching the parade is more entertaining than the actual parade. Next year, I am going to be decked out from head to toe in green. So yes, I am becoming a fan of parades. What about you?

P.S. I can't forget to mention that my friend Jessica in this picture just turned 39 today! Doesn't she look great for almost hitting 40? Happy Birthday Jessica! I am grateful I can learn so much from the wisdom of your years!

My new life, until the next one comes...

The reason this post is titled "my new life" is because now that Tyler is in preschool EVERYDAY, I am a free woman from 8:30-11:30! (Did I mention, everyday??!) As soon as Tyler turned 3, he started his developmental preschool at Fishback Elementary. My little boy can no longer lounge around in his PJ's all morning. He is dressed, fed, and out the door to catch the bus by 8:15. And I now have the luxury of doing whatever I want for 3 whole hours! This is the first time in 7 years I have had no kids with me for a set block of time everyday! I hardly know what to do with myself......actually I feel like I have been so busy playing catch up, I haven't really let this golden time sink in yet. Ok, enough about me. In just a few short months I will be sleep deprived and nursing a new baby around the clock. For this post I wanted to show Tyler with three of his therapists who came to our home weekly. No more in home therapy! Crazy! It has been a HUGE part of my life for the last 3 years. Now, Tyler will receive all of his therapy at preschool. This is Audrey. She is Tyler's speech therapist. We LOVE her! She will continue to work with Tyler at Fishback. She is the 4th speech therapist I went through. As soon as I realized how amazing she is (compared to the others) I told her we are holding on to her for as long as we can!

This takes some serious concentration as Tyler fixes up Mr. Potato Head. Can you see how much Tyler loves Miss Audrey?

Tyler's Developmental therapist is Miss Lisa. I give her the prize for showing Tyler the most genuine love out of all his therapists. From the first second the two of them met, they hit it off with each other. I still remember her saying, "Oh, I can tell I am going to have a lot of fun with Tyler!" They sure did.

Tyler was always giddy as ever when Miss Lisa walked through the door. She worked mainly on his fine motor skills. Because of her, Tyler loves to string beads! He couldn't wait to see what she would pull out of her big bag!

When Tyler did occupational therapy, he would sit in this little seat. He absolutely loved sitting there. (I don't know why?)

Here he is having a blast while working out his arms.

This is Mary Joe: Tyler's Occupational therapist. These two had a great time together. We are going to miss all our therapists.

Well, all except one. Sadly, Tyler's physical therapist and I did not leave on the best of terms. I could tell some stories there, but I won't. The tension was building and building when finally things got a little confrontational. I think she was shocked that I was not going to back down. Hey, I will hold my ground when I feel I am being falsely accused.

I decided to not look for another physical therapist. I felt all "therapied" out!

There is SO MUCH I could write about the First Steps program here in Indiana. Maybe one day I will. I have learned a lot about these types of government programs. Overall, I feel extremely blessed for the one on one therapy Tyler has received during the first three years of his life. The one thing I will not miss about First Steps.....massive amounts of paperwork!!!! Unbelievable amounts of paperwork in my opinion. I am ready for the next phase of Tyler's life. So far he is loving preschool. I am very happy with the teachers, and the schedule. Yeah! My three year old (who gets mistaken for a one year old all the time) is such a big boy!!!

Ultrasound today!

Orme #4 is a HEALTHY BABY GIRL!

We are all very excited. We all had a feeling I was going to have a boy......but not Maddie. She knew all along that it was a baby girl. Otherwise, "it just wouldn't be fair!" (So she says)

It's all about TY!

Happy 3rd Birthday to our favorite Ty Guy! On March 24th Tyler turned 3! We had a "Birthday Breakfast" at our house to celebrate. Below, he is figuring out his new present. Tyler doesn't understand what a birthday is, but I know he knew that he was getting lots of special attention and love!
I think he could tell the party was centered around him. The little friends we invited over were so cute and patient with him. (Especially when he wasn't letting anyone else have a turn playing the games.)
No fancy cake......( Dave has had a rough week.) Donuts and muffins for all!
We also had yummy German pancakes, homemade buttermilk syrup, bacon, granola and yogurt with delicious blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries from Costco.

I see Trent and Emiline blowing their party favors with Ty.

Too much action for Tuckster.

When I told the kids to yell "One...Two...Three..." for the picture, Tyler took that as his cue to do a superman jump across the couch.

Here he is, about to take off....

Maddie is always my biggest helper with Tyler. I think she is the second mom in the family.

"Anyone want a horn to blow?"

I love my sweet boy!

Waiting in anticipation for the party to start.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER!

A few thoughts on my son's Birthday

I wanted to share a few unorganized thoughts about Tyler on his third birthday.

His birth is one of the most memorable days in my life. He was born early in the morning, after another long night of labor for Kristine. It was around 3 or 4am, Kristine did great and everything went smooth. When he was delivered he was quite blue and was taken to get some oxygen. I was worried and went over and he pinked up and was little (6lbs), but otherwise looked beautiful. We held him, Kristine nursed him, and we fell asleep for a few hours. At 7am we were woken up by the nurse. It was an awkward conversation, but she was trying hard and had a good heart. I don’t really want to talk about all of that, but needless to say, the next few hours of that day changed our lives forever. At the same time, Maddie and Josh were being watched by our friends, and I needed to get back to them. Once things were stable with Tyler, and thankfully he didn’t need surgery on his heart, like half the kids with Down syndrome, I drove back to our house to go pick up the kids.
I don’t know if I ever told Kristine this, and I don’t think I told our babysitter this, but I just couldn’t quite go pick up the kids just yet. All of their excitement and energy, and wanting things, and, well, I just wasn’t quite ready. So I went running. I ran up and down the neighborhoods, no music or anything, just ran and ran. I was thinking about Tyler and at one point I started to cry (though I kept running). What set me off was thinking about what I would do the first time someone made fun of Tyler—how I would want to punch them in the eye. Then the thought of what I would want and teach Josh to do the first time he heard someone make fun of Tyler (the same thing) and then how that can be reconciled with my religious beliefs (I think I have a strong case). I then thought if I had ever make fun of someone like that. Thankfully I had a pretty guilt free conscience, a benefit of shyness. But I did remember making fun of one kid in the eighth grade, actually I was a bystander with a jerk of a friend, but I was guilty nonetheless. My mission made me remember him and years ago I begged for his apology and made amends.
Anyway, I just kept running, thinking of growing up, what plans will change, camping trips somehow was a big one to me, finances, vacations, couple missions, all sorts of stuff that goes along with it. It was the beginning of a long list of reconciliations that Kristine and I have both been making. But I had a start, so I finally I went home and got dressed and picked up my kids and went straight to Tyler to show him off to Mats and Josh. (of course telling the babysitter, “thanks so much, got here as fast as I could.—sorry Amy)
The day we brought Tyler home from the hospital we went to our pediatrician and found out he had very thick blood—termed polycythemia. This is common in Down Syndrome, and he would have to be admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to partially exchange his blood. It’s a relatively simple procedure where you basically water down his existing blood with Saline. But I remember the neonatologist taking me into his office to explain what was going on. He offered me a bagel and coffee, and wanted to write out all the possible complications. I thought what this must be like if I didn’t have any medical knowledge. Tyler then was taken to the NICU and they started sticking all these lines in him and the monitors and all of that. I had to step out for a minute. I ran across the street to a Panera Bread shop. I got a cup of soup and just sat there thinking about everything in the last 3 days of my life. This took maybe 10 minutes, I didn’t want Tyler to be alone too long, but to this day I can smell that chicken tortilla soup at a Panera Bread. It was fantastic, but I rarely get it now--just too much memory flooding.
Another thought I wanted to share occurred some months ago in my pediatric clinic. There are lots of residents seeing patients, and staff helping us when we are unsure of something, and we all get along really well. We all convene in a room to present the patients and write our notes in between visits. So one day a resident bopped into the room and was laughing. Another one asked what was up and she said—“nothing except that mom is a retard!” Everyone burst out laughing. It was quite unexpected from her and caught us all off guard. I chimed in with “what do you mean.” She said coyly, “she’s just a total retard…” and everyone again just laughed. So it was lighthearted and totally innocent, so I said jokingly “like my son.” She just stared at me and everyone got real quiet and I felt bad (cue the crickets chirping.) She didn’t say a word. So I just said, “you mean she’s retarded just like my son, right.” She didn’t know at that point but others did. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, I felt bad, but I wanted to be sure to get the point across. Fortunately a staff jumped in and turned it into a teaching point by asking me how I would like my son referred to. Please keep in mind this resident was and is a good friend of mine, and I said it as casually and openly as possible—it was not this stern put down. So we got into a discussion how “retard” has been taken out of context from its original medical term and is slang now and unfortunately has taken the same path as the medical terms: idiot, moron and imbecile (those were the definitions of mild, moderate and severely retarded before the new definition.) So now the medical community has to change the definition again, and will do so next year in the fifth DSM manual.
In case you wanted to know, it will likely be termed mild, moderate, and severe cognitive delay. This way it hopefully won’t turn into slang for people to say at the Jazz game, “man that ref is so cognitively delayed.”
So these situations have arisen much more often than you might think. It has always been easy for me to say something—yes I even did it to an attending once. From best friends, to patients, church, I can think of dozens of times. All ended well, except for one that I won’t go into.
Another thought I had about Tyler was at about 8 months of his life when we went up to Jessie and James’s (my sister and brother in law), who had a daughter less than a month after Tyler. We’d seen them before and got pictures and all of that, about a month after their births. But this time little Naomi was crawling, playing, grabbing and eating, almost by herself, babbling, and was just huge compared to Ty. We had a blast on our visit, but I again had to go for a run after we had arrived and I had observed these differences for a bit. Luckily Jessie lives by this awesome dirt trail up in the hills (yes of Akron) and you can run forever. I remember making a few more reconciliations and was much more at peace about watching developments of different kids from that point on.
I guess another thought I had about Tyler is basically the very first thought people kept telling me when he was born…That he was “special” and I was somehow special (that God chose me to raise him up.)
I think of that word “special” a lot. It’s charming and comforting, and I like to think of myself as special, and especially Tyler as special. But Kristine and I have joked that one time, since it happens so often, when someone says “oh Tyler is so special, you’re so lucky blah, blah, blah” that we would respond “yea, we were sad our first two kids weren’t special, so luckily we got him now.” I haven’t done that one yet, but I’m keeping it in my back pocket so be prepared—maybe at the zoo or something where I’ll never see them again.
The point, which I think most would agree if thought about, is that I believe all of my kids are special, Tyler no more so than Josh or Maddie; and, quite frankly, my kids no more so than yours. And I think any person being able to have a child is a miracle. As far as the whole idea that I have been chosen by God to raise Tyler so I must be special, etc, well, I’ve seen way too many “special needs” children born to awful and inept parents to think God is only giving those children to select parents--Unless of course God is trying to make judgment day easier on Himself by setting up people for certain failure. So to me, having Tyler born into our family was one of those things that nature does once in awhile, and fortunately for us, Tyler was strong enough to survive the mutation in his genes (more than 90% of fetuses with his mutation die in utero). So we look at it simply as that Tyler is strong. Josh and Maddie find that out daily. I now cannot imagine life without him. I think he brought happiness into our life, and marriage, that wasn’t quite there.
My father once made a comment about raising children, in the context of talking about a young man who had lost his way, gotten involved in drugs and was trying to get back but struggling. I will probably butcher his comment, but in trying to recap, he said that the key to raising kids is to maintain their innocence for as long as possible. I was surprised to hear that—I would expect something about loving unconditionally, establishing a work ethic, something like that. But distilled down, I think his point is quite compelling. Tyler, to me, brings that to our family. He is in love with everything, sees no wrong, except injuries or not getting his food on time. So quick to forget, he’s thoughtful, even without speaking, he can comfort and soothe anyone. He loves to play in the dirt and walk barefoot and watch the sky with me at night.
I guess my final thought, at least for now, is that I love Tyler just being Tyler. All I want to do as his parent is keep him safe, protect and feed him, while I let him be the best Ty Guy he can be. And most of the time that means to just get out of his way as a parent –literally and figuratively(that’s true for all my kids to be honest, I think they are so good now they need no teaching, just a dad that won’t screw them up.) A scary side, to me, of the parents of disabled kids is to set unrealistic, or more important, unnecessary goals for their kids to complete their “integration into society,” with school, sports, workforce, marriage, etc--not that Tyler won’t go down those roads, but I just want Tyler to be who he is, to reach his own goals and not mine. If he wants to go to high school or college, I’ll get him in, if he wants to get a house, I’ll be prepared, marriage, well, we’ll see, and if one day, he decides to speak to me, I’m ready to listen.
I love you Tyler, I hope I can be a good dad for you.